Let’s Talk About Orgasms- part 1

In some cases the sex talk is hardly ever discussed leading young adults to experiment; learning by trial and error. 

What is an orgasm? How do you know if you’re experiencing one?

For as long as I can remember, the word sex has always been treated like a bad word, in needing to be talked about in secret or the mere mention of the word was scandalous.

Emphasis was placed on waiting until marriage before having sex. But after marriage there’s still this ambivalence when it comes to the subject of sex and more importantly how to experience and enjoy the world of multiple orgasms.

What about the women out there that are married or in healthy committed relationships that want to fully enjoy sex with their partners but unsure if they are?

“The Ultimate Guide To Orgasm For Women; How To Become Orgasmic For Life” by Mikaya Heart is a great place to start for those with unanswered questions.

For starters, Orgasm is defined as an intense or paroxysmal excitement; especially the rapid pleasurable release of neuromuscular tensions at the height of sexual arousal that is usually accompanied by the ejaculation of semen in the male and by vaginal contractions in the female.

Or in laymen’s terms a climax of sexual excitement, characterized by feelings of pleasure centered in the genitals and (in men) experienced as an accompaniment to ejaculation.

Heart points out that, “Sexuality is both a great gift and a valuable tool that can enable us to experience the wisdom and joy of our bodies and help us to express our creativity. A healthy sex life makes for a healthy person.”

In the chapter titled Sexual Play she breaks it down into three Facets of sexual play: Communication, laughter and acceptance of our remarkable diversity.

“The learning process is ongoing,” says Mikaya Heart. “Our bodies are capable of the most extraordinary things, particularly when they are in a state of sexual arousal. What limits our sexuality are the concepts we cling to of what we think is meant to happen.”

Going back to the lack of discussion and education when it comes to the topic of sex.

“Traditional sexual interchanges all too often involve one person initiating an act that the other person feels ambivalent about due to her past experience or the likelihood that she won’t get her needs met or both,” says Heart.

The Best Medicine to remedy this situation is to relax and become comfortable with your partner.

“The best anecdote to an overdose of seriousness is laughter; Not the inane “dirty” jokes that reinforce tiresome and damaging stereotypes but loving laughter that stems from a down-to-earth feeling of joy,” suggests Heart.

The Myth of the Definitive Orgasm

Heart points out that, Freud defined two types of female orgasm: vaginal and clitoral. He claimed that as a woman matured, she would-or should-transfer the site of her orgasm from the clitoris to the vagina. In other words, she should experience orgasm as a result of intercourse, and not as a result of clitoral stimulation.

“What we must remember is that Freud was only relaying what the men of his time wanted to believe,” says Heart. “They didn’t want to hear that intercourse is only one form of sexual play and that most women prefer a variety.”

It’s important to keep an open mind when it comes to the topic of sex. An open mind will allow room for a true understanding and will open the gates of passion in your relationship.

Stay tuned for more on this subject.